Recently in Journal Category
In the past few years, I have experienced a multitude of planetary and universal shifts, as many of us have. I have been feeling these changes within my body, as well. I know now that as the Universe grows, so do I. As I am growing daily in all dimensions of my life, while healing all of who I have been in the past, I am experiencing my body becoming more completly as who I can be, now. My body is constantly reorganizing. Sure, I still am experiencing places where I am healing and growing, but generally, the experience of my body feels much more vibrant, younger and much stronger.
What I have experienced is that I am not the only one going through these changes. There are many allies and partners that have shared similar experiences with me. I have discovered that as we are a reflection for each other to grow, we have the capacity to change spontaneously. When I feel the places where I may feel a block or disharmony in my body, I simply "go inside", feel all of what is there, inside the root, while opening to who and what I am, holding space for me to be here and what is not me to leave, completly. My experience is that all the ancestral, lineage as well as past life trauma leaves spontaneously, as I choose to expereine these places, as what I am only. There is no need for merging, diving into the stories of it, I just simply invite it to disolve, naturally. What may have felt like a painful experience in the past, I now feel as an opening that can be both pleasurable and ordinary. As we choose to be an expereince of what we are only, we have the capacity to heal and redesign our bodies by choice.
Today, as I sat outside in the morning sun, I made friends with a lizard…
As the lizard became aware of my presence, he scurried by, hiding in the boards of the house…He peeked out at me, several times..I could feel the sensitive nature of this great creature, and I knew that if I moved too fast, he would scurry off. So, I shared that I am his friend…that I wouldn’t hurt him…saying these words silently and with my vibration, he received me well… As he became more comfortable, he hung out right next to me, a few inches away…It was so neat to experience close up all the textures on a lizards body; his skin appeared to have a net-like material on the top layer of his skin..I saw colors of blues, greens browns, all blended together in the layers of the skin… I refer to him as a “he”, because that is what I saw him to be… So, the lizard continues to sit there with me, several minutes, tilting it’s head to see me. I could feel him looking into my soul.
I could see the reptile kingdom through his eyes…the ancient history of his ancestry…I could feel other lizards, snakes, even dinosaurs through his gentle spirit. I found him to be so sensitive to movement and vibration..Lizards feel with their bodies..They have a direct relationship with the earth. One slight move, and he may run off…so, slowly, I straightened out my body and as I became still, slowly moving my body, while still connecting with him…The lizard barely moved, just watching me with his eyes. After a few moments, the lizard moves his body in a rhythmic motion and something leaves his body….of course, he’s poopoing! This is definetly the first time I’ve seen a lizard poop! little pellets…I giggled…hoping not to offend him…In this moment, 2 bunnies come hopping along, quite close…they felt very playful and going about their day, eating grasses and hiding out in the bushes.
Couldn’t imagine a better way to open to my day!
What happens when we let go of the mind? will we lose who we are? will we be able to function? I have experienced that when we let go of the mind, we have the opportunity to open to an experience of Presence...The mind still exists, although our experience of mind changes. As we let go of our minds, we still have the capacity to access information and be in the world with the ability to create and function. In fact, our capacities are even greater, because by letting go of the mind, which is a survival orientation to life, we become unlimited and free.
Feel the reality of a dolphin. Does a dolphin relate from his mind, or is he/she simply a reflection of presence? When we feel connected with all of who we are, in unity with all the cells of our body from our head to our feet and beyond through our energy centers, which I believe dolphins, do, we have the opportunity to be in relationship in a way that is unique to who we are. We become simply, an expression, of who we are. We see that we truly are transparent, in our bodies, in reality. When we let go of all the structures and invite others to see and feel us, generally others feel more relaxed around us and invite us to be in relationship with them.
My life is changing. I can feel this in every cell of my body. As I take full responsibility for my new life, while integrating it into my reality, I am experiencing a sense of freedom that is expansive and limitless.
I am feeling that everything is possible and that I am free to create as I choose. I have spoken about this, written about this, painted this in, and felt this many times, but I believe now I am truly accepting this. It feels great to finally honor this opportunity and feel the opportunity that is here. What's so beautiful about this experience is that I don't know how it's all going to be...I do know though, that as I listen and am receptive to opportunities, there is no need to know. Everything will open and grow and evolve, naturally and graciously...All I have to do is take full responsibility for my reality.
Dolphins move with such beauty and grace, as they have a relationship with life that is quite expansive and free. I had an experience the other day in a group journey, where I connected with a dolphin and could feel and see inside his/her experience of reality. What I experienced is that dolphins are in relationship with every cell and part of their body which opens their capacity to see inside of anything they choose to see and hear. They can see inside the planet and beyond, by being and feeling through all the cells of their bodies. Their spiritual nature and physical body, are simply who they are. There is no separation. Their experience of reality has no limitations in time or space. They are an experience as their body, while traveling multi-dimensionally. They are free and happy. They simply change reality just by being what they are because the are in relationship with everything. There are no limitations to how they can be in relationship. They can see light years away if they choose.
Humans have these opportunities, as well. As we become more of who we are, while feeling this within every cell of our bodies, and accepting this as an ordinary experience, we become happy too. We start to notice that things happen spontaneously and with ease. Relationships change. Everything grows. We then experience life as being limitless and we see that everything is an opportunity for growth. We simply change reality by accepting this and taking full responsibility for how we create our realities. All of nature and the universe becomes our ally, and we see that there is no separation.
Being open and present to the patterns and rhythms of nature is magical and quite natural...a crow fly's by and perches itself right above the window where I sit. what is the message of this great being? is he/she simply saying hi? or is his presence here to inspire something...I am aware of the relationship here...Outside, the trees are alive, soaking in the rain as I can feel them resting deeply...the home feels warm, a blessing in nature...
In this moment, I am reflecting back on the day before...I was up late last night painting, healing and birthing another painting into the world.. why am i here, i ask? what is the purpose of my life? what are the opportunities that are here, in this moment. what is it about my life that is an opportunity for the world? for humanity? nature? how can i share more of who i am, so that others have the opportunity to receive me?
how does the I, I ask about, transform, into WE? For this life does not feel that it's simply about me... "Listen deeply...go sit with the paintings and you will see"...I hear from within.."Go sit for a moment and ask this very question"...so, without hesitation, I go.....
As I roam around the studio, and I listen to my inner voice, I feel my mind letting go of old patterns that are showing up that want to express themselves...I listen, feel them, then simply free the thoughts so that I can be present for the new opportunity to emerge. I can spot an old pattern, when I feel a sense of collapse...this can feel subtle...simply a feeling that does not resonate with the frequency of who I am...
As I look around the room, I see a pattern. I can feel energy in each painting...I see a symphony; a room full of paintings..I can feel what I was experiencing and moving through at the time of each painting....I can also see what it is now...As I feel inside the paintings to see more clearly, I see the prayers, the intentions, the experiences that were occurring at the time the painting was being birthed. I can see the pains and joys of childhood..I can see the love of my mother..the sadness the grief,,,, the new life that has emerged since her passing. the ever-presence of who she is, that i feel in everything I create. I see my friends, my family, people I only met for a moment that touched me in some way, found their way in these paintings...i feel nature, the universe, the crisis and opportunities of the planet.
This is a piece of what is within each of these painting journeys...what is visible to fresh new eyes that come across them may be quite different... it is the spirit that lives within it, that is always the same...like the energy that lives within a seed, before it bursts forth into new life. As I feel inside the room and the paintings, I feel the universe within the space...I feel more alive in this moment..my body feels open...I feel a connected to everything. What I am seeing is that I am supporting a new paradigm that is already here, by paintings these paintings. I let go of the why, the how, and the what is the purpose of these paintings. I let go of the structures of my past... I know within all my being that there is something else being expressed here...So, I listen for what this is....
ahhhh...
what is being revealed is that there is an opportunity for humanity to usher in and support this new life paradigm...a time devoid of limitations in time or space...where the veil is lifted and we see the universe...in all it's transparency, naturally, instantly. It is an experience that we can access in nature, in our cars, on a busy city street...if we simply allow who and what we are to open to the opportunity of the experience...we will see that we truly are all one...and that within this sense of oneness we are also unique beings...each with a divine purpose...the opportunity to truly be alive!
I listen again...what is opportunity in this moment in time...for this great ushering in of a new evolution of being?
I listen, again....I can feel that the opportunity is for me to be me ..in each moment...to be present and open to the natural flow of life...to accept opportunities...to create opportunities...to paint..to dance...to breathe life into everything I touch...to invite others into this way of being, as well...to accept others invitations... In this moment. the why, the how and what all disappears...
As I look out the window, I see a crow fly by..this time, swooping down near an avocado tree...thanks you, crow for your visit once again...I see you...I see the connection of all life and thank you for being here to inspire the sharing of this vision.
Today has been a sacred day. I feel open, expansive, rooted in the Earth, and excited about my life. When I allow who I am to be fully present, in each moment, I feel alive, magical, creative and in alignment with my soul's journey. I feel love for everything and everyone...I feel my relationship with Mother Earth deepening, as I feel the infinite universe expanding.
I have spent the last few years, healing deeply, opening immensely, and in a sense painting who I am into physical reality. By the reflection of my paintings, I see the journey unfolding before my eyes. It has been a magical, mystical, deep, soulful and humorous journey. I am deeply grateful for the beauty of my life and the opportunity to be exploring and opening so deeply in such a beautiful place. I see the vision clearly of why I am here at this time and am deeply committed in supporting the evolution of humanity in alliance with Mother Earth.
Art has the potential to change reality...I am discovering that when I let go of the mind and the concept of what I would enjoy painting, that the vision truly has the opportunity to come through...and this is when reality changes... reality changes because by being present to the opportunities, a new awareness of reality shifts...a new awareness of what exists beyond the experience of what we perceived a moment ago.
The other day, I was reflecting on the nature of my paintings. I spend time with the trees so therefore, one would think that I would naturally paint trees...this is me being in my mind... what is actually being birthed is an energetic experience of nature - a vision of nature - the universe on canvas - alive - in it's own uniqueness - it's own experience - really there are no words for it... because it is really it's own language...
The trees are coming through...I can feel this deeply, and there is so much that the trees are showing me - before these paintings are actually birthed. So, I realized the other day to really trust the visions that are coming through and to not try to make sense of what I am painting or seeing - for this is the Magic Of Creating Art and the potency that lies within the experience.
Being in nature and sitting with the trees is one the greatest joys of my life. Each tree, plant, flower, feels so uniquely different to me. I enjoy the solitude, the openings and the blossoming that occurs in those moments.
Today is a beautiful brisk, sun-shining day in Ojai...I could feel the invitation to meet with my tree friends. I enjoy meeting with the trees, before I start a project. It refreshes me, connects me to the flow and it's simply what i enjoy about living here on Planet Earth. So, there I went....following my heart, my intuition and inner guidance to play with nature...As I walked out the driveway onto the main road, I could feel the direction to follow. As I listened, I found myself in the avocado orchard next to our home. The views of the mountains are splendid here...The air crisp, the birds full of song, the trees so ever-present....
I met with a few oak trees on the way, each one simply being who they are...I enjoy the space they hold, just by being present as who they are and nothing else. I grow so much in their company. Ideas and visions come in so clearly and I never feel alone...I even saw a coyote cross my path...It was a big coyote...It looked like it was on a mission...It actually seemed quite bigger than all the coyotes i've seen around here. I could feel a nervous energy within me. I listened within, i listened to what was going on around me...I connected with the Mother Oak...I began to relax and felt at home in this experience and felt a love for my coyote friend.
As I walked on, I could feel the presence of other trees and I could feel the invitation of this one particular oak tree. Her energy is so sweet and supportive. I deeply relax in her presence. I felt drawn to sit with her and as i sat with her, i could feel all of nature around me..The birds, the avocado trees, the orange trees, the grass...Everything alive... I could feel energy rising up my spine. It was slow, deep and warm. I felt in this moment, that I am nature and nature is me. We became one...while being uniquely who we are.
My passion is to share this experience with others. Living in Ojai has crystallized this for me. This has always been who I am and what I am here to share with others. This is a gift for everyone, including nature. Co-creating with nature is one of the most beautiful experiences of my life and we have the opportunity to gather in ways that are supportive for our creative souls....
In many cultures, throughout the ages, creating art as a communal experience, has been a natural way of life. From body painting, to the creation of sand mandalas, to creating sacred rituals for healing and visioning,
communities have experienced art as a way of celebrating life in an extraordinary way. By creating an experience that invites community to grow together, while being fully present within the experience, our relationship to time and space changes, which allows for spontaneous and powerful visions to reveal itself to us, in a fun and supportive way.
In the 21st Century, I see and feel the importance of these art adventures becoming a more prominent way of life - I see these experiences growing in the cities, in the forests, in our schools, and even in the corporate world. This is an opportunity for us to create a deeper relationship with humanity, nature, and the universe, while also becoming allies with Mother Earth. The beauty of this experience is that it can feel very ordinary and supportive to our unique ways of being, while also being an experience that is wild and creative, with an opportunity to explore and discover who we really are. It is a fun way for community to come together, to play, while weaving our visions together in a supportive and expansive way.
This weekend, I will be leading my first Art Adventure. Stay tuned in, for I will share my experience this coming week.
