Journal: February 2009 Archives
Being open and present to the patterns and rhythms of nature is magical and quite natural...a crow fly's by and perches itself right above the window where I sit. what is the message of this great being? is he/she simply saying hi? or is his presence here to inspire something...I am aware of the relationship here...Outside, the trees are alive, soaking in the rain as I can feel them resting deeply...the home feels warm, a blessing in nature...
In this moment, I am reflecting back on the day before...I was up late last night painting, healing and birthing another painting into the world.. why am i here, i ask? what is the purpose of my life? what are the opportunities that are here, in this moment. what is it about my life that is an opportunity for the world? for humanity? nature? how can i share more of who i am, so that others have the opportunity to receive me?
how does the I, I ask about, transform, into WE? For this life does not feel that it's simply about me... "Listen deeply...go sit with the paintings and you will see"...I hear from within.."Go sit for a moment and ask this very question"...so, without hesitation, I go.....
As I roam around the studio, and I listen to my inner voice, I feel my mind letting go of old patterns that are showing up that want to express themselves...I listen, feel them, then simply free the thoughts so that I can be present for the new opportunity to emerge. I can spot an old pattern, when I feel a sense of collapse...this can feel subtle...simply a feeling that does not resonate with the frequency of who I am...
As I look around the room, I see a pattern. I can feel energy in each painting...I see a symphony; a room full of paintings..I can feel what I was experiencing and moving through at the time of each painting....I can also see what it is now...As I feel inside the paintings to see more clearly, I see the prayers, the intentions, the experiences that were occurring at the time the painting was being birthed. I can see the pains and joys of childhood..I can see the love of my mother..the sadness the grief,,,, the new life that has emerged since her passing. the ever-presence of who she is, that i feel in everything I create. I see my friends, my family, people I only met for a moment that touched me in some way, found their way in these paintings...i feel nature, the universe, the crisis and opportunities of the planet.
This is a piece of what is within each of these painting journeys...what is visible to fresh new eyes that come across them may be quite different... it is the spirit that lives within it, that is always the same...like the energy that lives within a seed, before it bursts forth into new life. As I feel inside the room and the paintings, I feel the universe within the space...I feel more alive in this moment..my body feels open...I feel a connected to everything. What I am seeing is that I am supporting a new paradigm that is already here, by paintings these paintings. I let go of the why, the how, and the what is the purpose of these paintings. I let go of the structures of my past... I know within all my being that there is something else being expressed here...So, I listen for what this is....
ahhhh...
what is being revealed is that there is an opportunity for humanity to usher in and support this new life paradigm...a time devoid of limitations in time or space...where the veil is lifted and we see the universe...in all it's transparency, naturally, instantly. It is an experience that we can access in nature, in our cars, on a busy city street...if we simply allow who and what we are to open to the opportunity of the experience...we will see that we truly are all one...and that within this sense of oneness we are also unique beings...each with a divine purpose...the opportunity to truly be alive!
I listen again...what is opportunity in this moment in time...for this great ushering in of a new evolution of being?
I listen, again....I can feel that the opportunity is for me to be me ..in each moment...to be present and open to the natural flow of life...to accept opportunities...to create opportunities...to paint..to dance...to breathe life into everything I touch...to invite others into this way of being, as well...to accept others invitations... In this moment. the why, the how and what all disappears...
As I look out the window, I see a crow fly by..this time, swooping down near an avocado tree...thanks you, crow for your visit once again...I see you...I see the connection of all life and thank you for being here to inspire the sharing of this vision.
